Heir of Silence - 13 Mar 2003 02:00 am
Post subject: Untitled
No rhyme scheme. End is meant to be like that
-----
Twist and turn
Slicing pain
Angels with knives dance all around
Slashing into me
Lifting my arms up
Blood dripping
My face and sides are crimson
Bathed in red
Blinking back salty tears
Rain pounding
Dragging me to the dirty pavement
Tearing me down
Blood blinding my eyes
Salt burning my wounds
Writhing in the twisted, filthy sensation
Agony in my iris calls to your god for salvation and neverending feeling like a misery that refuses to die like I cannot and feel and breathe
Total Trinity - 13 Mar 2003 09:05 am
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Wow. That was deep. I like it alot. Keep up the excelent writing.
~Total Trinity~
Heir of Silence - 15 Mar 2003 06:32 pm
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Sorry it took me so long to respond. Thanks a lot for your support
Saiel - 15 Mar 2003 06:36 pm
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I really do like it...but, reading that last line, I just feel like I'm trying to rush it all together to fit into the rhythm of the rest of the poem.
Heir of Silence - 15 Mar 2003 07:48 pm
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The rhythm, if there was any, falls apart into a flowing stream of razor blades
Saiel - 15 Mar 2003 07:53 pm
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Ahh...wicked idea.
Heir of Silence - 15 Mar 2003 08:09 pm
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I just made that up.
The truth is, that's just what/how I felt like writing. That's all this poem is...whatever I felt like writing
Saiel - 15 Mar 2003 08:17 pm
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Well...then nice bull-shitting.
I still like the poem.
Heir of Silence - 16 Mar 2003 12:29 am
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Sorry, I just didn't have a real explanation for why it was like that
I just went with the first
plausible thing that came to mind. I'm flatt'red you like my poem, though, it
was never intended to be 'good'.... Just a sort of self-therapy
End of Topic.