Wonderland
Archive 2 - Untitled Heir of Silence - 13 Mar 2003 02:00 am Post subject: Untitled
No rhyme scheme. End is meant to be like that -----
Twist and
turn Slicing pain Angels with knives dance all around Slashing into
me
Lifting my arms up Blood dripping My face and sides are
crimson Bathed in red
Blinking back salty tears Rain pounding
Dragging me to the dirty pavement Tearing me down
Blood blinding
my eyes Salt burning my wounds Writhing in the twisted, filthy sensation
Agony in my iris calls to your god for salvation and neverending feeling
like a misery that refuses to die like I cannot and feel and breathe
Total Trinity - 13 Mar 2003 09:05 am Post subject:
Wow. That was deep. I like it alot. Keep up the excelent writing.
~Total
Trinity~
Heir of Silence - 15 Mar 2003 06:32 pm Post subject:
Sorry it took me so long to respond. Thanks a lot for your support Saiel - 15 Mar 2003 06:36 pm Post subject:
I really do like it...but, reading that last line, I just feel like I'm trying
to rush it all together to fit into the rhythm of the rest of the poem. Heir of Silence - 15 Mar 2003 07:48 pm Post subject:
The rhythm, if there was any, falls apart into a flowing stream of razor blades
Saiel - 15 Mar 2003 07:53 pm Post subject:
Ahh...wicked idea. Heir of Silence - 15 Mar 2003 08:09 pm Post subject:
I just made that up.
The truth is, that's just what/how I felt like
writing. That's all this poem is...whatever I felt like writing
Saiel - 15 Mar 2003 08:17 pm Post subject:
Well...then nice bull-shitting.
I still like the poem.
Heir of Silence - 16 Mar 2003 12:29 am Post subject:
Sorry, I just didn't have a real explanation for why it was like that I just went with the first
plausible thing that came to mind. I'm flatt'red you like my poem, though, it
was never intended to be 'good'.... Just a sort of self-therapy
I still like the poem.
I just went with the first
plausible thing that came to mind. I'm flatt'red you like my poem, though, it
was never intended to be 'good'.... Just a sort of self-therapy